Dogs

There are a couple of dogs that live in the flat next door to me, horrible little things, too small to be fun like big dogs, yet still noisy and messy. They seem to have engaged in some sort of territorial war with me and often I'll come home to find little gifts of excrement in front of my gate so that I have to step around them to get in the door. This weekend away gave them the perfect opportunity to step it up a notch and I arrived home to a veritable feast of piss and shit, so much so that getting in the door felt a little bit like playing a sick version of Twister, tiptoeing in the gaps and contorting myself to get through the door without covering my shoes in the stuff. And just now as I was walking past the neighbour's door on the way to my flat, a venomous, growling ball of white fluff flung itself from the door and tried to attach itself to my ankle. No harm done, but if this continues I may be forced either to defacate on their premises in retaliation or simply kick the things to a hideous and brutal death.