Dogs

There are a couple of dogs that live in the flat next door to me, horrible little things, too small to be fun like big dogs, yet still noisy and messy. They seem to have engaged in some sort of territorial war with me and often I'll come home to find little gifts of excrement in front of my gate so that I have to step around them to get in the door. This weekend away gave them the perfect opportunity to step it up a notch and I arrived home to a veritable feast of piss and shit, so much so that getting in the door felt a little bit like playing a sick version of Twister, tiptoeing in the gaps and contorting myself to get through the door without covering my shoes in the stuff. And just now as I was walking past the neighbour's door on the way to my flat, a venomous, growling ball of white fluff flung itself from the door and tried to attach itself to my ankle. No harm done, but if this continues I may be forced either to defacate on their premises in retaliation or simply kick the things to a hideous and brutal death.

Weekend in Limbe

I spent the Easter weekend in Limbe with some of the Embassy gang. It's a small town in South West Cameroon, notable for being on the coast, close to Mount Cameroon (a volcano and west Africa's tallest peak at 4,095m) and home to an oil refinery that was controversially neglected in choosing a location for the terminus of a new oil pipeline to Chad. Francophone Kribi, in the president's home region, was chosen over Anglophone Limbe, and it is widely believed by the Anglophone minority to have been a stitch up. From Limbe you can also see Equatorial Guinea's Bioko Island, one of those islands whose location makes you wonder why it belongs to the country it does rather than the one right next to it (the Falkland Islands come to mind, for example).

To get there you have to drive through Douala, which bore obvious signs of the recent unrest. The majority of the petrol stations we passed had the prices smashed out and a couple were still closed. One had a burnt-out car in the forecourt and its petrol pumps ripped out, and several had smashed windows or other smaller signs of violence. Those belonging to Total seemed to be the worst hit, I wonder if this has anything to do with their being a French company. Driving through Douala is always chaotic, and on the way back we witnessed a small accident as a woman was hit by a motorcycle, stumbling and falling backwards from the road and leaving the motorcyclist and his motorcycle in a small heap on the road. Luckily he was travelling at a low speed and she was robustly built, so it seemed that no major damage was done. I was surprised and relieved to see how calmly it was dealt with, having heard many reports of road accidents ending in heated arguments, violence and sometimes mob murder in other parts of the continent.

Limbe itself is very nice, the sands are volcanic grey which is unusual, but it has a very relaxed feel to it, and the ever-present mountain backdrop is something I really appreciated. Our hotel had a great view over the town, the sea was warm, and the beach was quiet with delicious fish available on tap from the beachside restaurant. We also went to visit Buea (pronounced "boy-ah"), which was the German colonial capital for a short while, passing through the Tole Tea Plantation on the way. Buea is at about 1,000m altitude and has a nice cool, airy feel. It looks an interesting little place but we didn't have time to hang around unfortunately.

The tea plantation was interesting too, at one point we stopped to have a drink and some food that we had with us and started to attract a fair bit of attention. First the woman who works on that part of the plantation came to see what we were up to, then the guy who said he guards it. He came with a bit of attitude, telling us that "snapping" (photography) is prohibited and that he would have to take our memory cards away and call the management. Although he had no real basis for doing that, our will to be co-operative (and perhaps the thought of the group of men with machetes we'd just passed who were working on the land) made us try to reason with him a little. It worked to some extent, although in the end it was the language of the bribe that came through. Two meatballs, some small pieces of cheese and a packet of biscuits apparently meant that our photos were no longer a problem.

Just before he left with the goods, now all smiles, he mentioned that had we been French there would have been a *real* problem. We didn't sit and challenge him on his racial stereotypes, preferring to let him wander off on his merry way to share his spoils with his cohorts. A few minutes later the manager actually turned up anyway and chatted amiably with us about the problems they are having with privatisation for a few minutes before carrying on about his business. The hatred of all things French is apparently not unusual in this part of the country: the restaurant that evening had "Freedom Fries" on the menu. In a token act of resistance to this frog-bashing I ordered "fries, French fries", before settling down to a very tasty and cheap meal, followed by a bit of a dance at "Dreams", Limbe's nightlife hotspot.

When we first got to Limbe I'd completely forgotten that there is an oil refinery there. As we drove through the town on the way to the beach something stood out - a paved residential road running parallel to ours. It immediately made me wonder why it was like that, until the entrance to the refinery came into view and the connection between the oil wealth and the paved road became obvious. It's a small thing, but it was reassuring to feel that I'm starting to get some sort of sense for the way things are here, so that unusual things stand out on an instinctive level as well as being identifiable on a rational level.

Real-life Cluedo

This morning I was called to an impromptu meeting downstairs, where it was reported that a laptop had been stolen from the office yesterday during working hours. Everyone sat around discussing people's movements yesterday and what guests had been coming in and out of the office. We checked the guard's log book and talked with the receptionist about guests and any periods when she had been away from the desk and unable to keep an eye on visitors.

As everyone gave their spiel and tried not to say what they were really thinking, I had trouble taking it seriously. It felt like one of those Murder Mystery weekends that people go on, or like a game of Cluedo. Was it the driver with the suspiciously full rucksack, the visitor with the inconspicuous briefcase, or the pasty looking westerner with a wobbly moral compass (me)?

After a fair bit of discussion one member of staff put forward his considered view on the matter. He felt that this should be handled by people who are trained to conduct investigations and who are experienced in the relevant procedures. This went down quite well, it was a thoroughly thought-out and eloquently phrased view. It's hard to disagree with him on this point, but the fact that it requires discussion to conclude that the police should be the ones to conduct any investigation is quite revealing.

Although I've only heard one person say it explicitly, there's a distinct undertone that it was someone within the office who took it. This is manifesting itself in general suspicion and, particularly given the recently announced redundancies, a slightly fractious working environment.

The activities of an expat in Yaounde

So far this expat has...

...played...
football
poker
mario kart on the n64
tennis
cricket against the Cameroon national team
table tennis
wii sports
djembe and some other percussion
darts
golf


...been...
to a parade for International Women's Day
jogging
salsa dancing
to a meat-market club for westerners
to a Cameroonian club
swimming
to a couple of different drumming circles
to some expat parties

...eaten...
paella
plantain
chicken - lots of
beans - lots of
fish
salad
quesadillas
rice
apples
pasta
malaria tablets
spaghetti meatballs
lentil soup
pizza
couscous
bread
bananas
lasagne
tacos
curry

...drunk...
water
beer
whiskey
water
fruit juice
schnapps
wine
water
water


p.s. £37 profit on poker last night, running total is £109 from 3 games

By the way...

...the security situation is currently calm, things are going well with the cleaner, and we got the money for the project with the refugees that I was talking about.

Things are calm but they are not quite back to normal, with detentions without due process, media being shut down, and propaganda over death tolls. The big problem is really what 'normal' constitutes. The government is no doubt more paranoid than it was before the unrest, and is carrying out oppressive actions that it did not before. But it always had the capacity to behave this way, and it was already obvious that those involved would seek to retain power by any means necessary. This is the root of the problem and it's very hard to be optimistic about the future in this regard. The President seems to have sufficient control over parliament to get his constitutional amendment through, and we know that he has sufficient control over electoral processes to force a win in any election that might take place, so it is hard to see how this situation will improve.

p.s. I won £55 at poker last night. Cashback!

The Constitution of the Republic of Cameroon

Here are some excerpts from the Constitution of the Republic of Cameroon (1996). Click on the links for some connected news stories.


“We, the people of Cameroon, … affirm our attachment to the fundamental freedoms enshrined in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, the Charter of the United Nations and The African charter on Human and People’s Rights.” - Preamble

“The freedom of communication, of expression, of the press, of assembly, of association, and of trade unionism, as well as the right to strike shall be guaranteed under the conditions fixed by law.” - Preamble

“The State shall guarantee the child’s right to education. Primary education shall be compulsory. The organization and supervision of education at all levels shall be the bounden duty of the State.” - Preamble

“The preamble shall be part and parcel of this Constitution.” - Article 65

“The Republic of Cameroon … shall be one and indivisible, secular, democratic and dedicated to social service.” - Article 1(2)

“The President of the Republic … shall ensure respect for the Constitution.” - Article 5(2)

“The President of the Republic shall be elected for a term of office of 7 (seven) years. He shall be eligible for re-election once.” - Article 6(2)

“Amendments to the Constitution may be proposed either by the President of the Republic or by Parliament … Parliament shall meet in congress when called upon to examine a draft or proposed amendment. The amendment shall be adopted by an absolute majority of the members of Parliament. The President of the Republic may request a second reading; in which case the amendment shall be adopted by a two-third Majority of the members of Parliament … The President of the Republic may decide to submit any bill to amend the Constitution to a referendum; in which case the amendment shall be adopted by a simple majority of the votes cast.” – Article 63(1-4)

Friend Relativism

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